Wanna Die

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On a practically clear, cloudless Sunday
So far it was okay, but your mouth opened anyway
Even though they say drugs are bad for you
You’re high as shit laughing like “raripapa”

You’re trying extra hard to be amusing
Even though you always bitch about your shitty life
I’m fucking tired of always consoling you
And being the one you cry to

You said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
No one will ever miss you- bye-bye!
You said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
I’m so annoyed with your constant crying

“Someone like you would never understand”
Even though you don’t know about “someone like me”
“It would be better for everyone if I just died”
Even though we both know that’s a total fucking lie

Even though you do all this “self-reflection”
The blame is always somehow on someone else
Crying, yelling, and cutting yourself
You’re fucking over exaggerating

You said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
No one will even miss you- bye-bye!
You said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
You’re being pathetic, so shut the fuck up

You said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
What’s taking so long? Hurry up and do it
You’d said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
If you’re so desperate you’d already have dropped dead

You’ve said you don’t want to live but you’re still here
You can’t even make up your damn mind about it
Why are you asking me if you should live or die?
Shut the fuck up who cares?

Should I live?
Should I die?
SHUT THE FUCK UP!

You said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
No one will even miss you- bye-bye now!
You said you’d rather die? Then go ahead and die
Drop dead and take all your bullshit to hell!

You said you’d rather die? But you’re still alive
Gonna live or gonna die- hurry and decide
You said you’d rather die? That’s just fine
But if not, live with everything you’ve got, dumbass!
You wanted my opinion right?

So you wanna die?
You got a death wish?
You wanna drop dead?
You said you’d rather die?

Quit you’re bitching and live with everything you’ve got!

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Unravel

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Won’t you tell me
Oh, won’t you tell me
About how the world works
Who is that you call “me”?
What’s he supposed to be?
I’m broken, scattered thin in this world
And yet you keep smiling, blind to it all

In my chest, I feel “it” broke
So I try not to breathe It’s so hard to tear at myself
So you can see beneath

Freeze

I’m breakable; unbreakable
I’m shakable; unshakable
Then I felt something give way…

The world twists and tangles around me
I’m fading away and can’t be seen
Don’t bother looking
For what’s left of me
Please don’t look at me

I never chose to live in this place someone else had made
I just want you to be safe, far away from me
So just remember how I used to be
Please, do so vividly

Creeping around me
Solitude, it swallows me
Leaving me to remember when I was innocent and could laugh
Struggling, Can’t get free, Struggling, Can’t get free, Struggling, Can’t get free…!

Unravel the world

The “thing” that broke and I couldn’t remove
It change how I moved
You’re stuck with me
And “till death do us apart”

I’m breakable; unbreakable
I’m shakable; unshakable
But I won’t give you away…!

The world twists and tangles around me
I’m fading away and can’t be seen
Don’t bother looking
For what’s left of me
Please don’t look at me

In this place someone else has made
It was meant to ensnare and trap me
So just remember how I used to be
Please, do so vividly

Just don’t forget me, oh don’t forget me, don’t forget me, please don’t forget me…

The shock that so much inside me breaks leaves me paralyzed
In this paradise for someone else that they made
Promise me you won’t let me become obsolete?

Won’t you tell me
Won’t you tell me
Who is that you call “me”?
What’s he supposed to be?

Rolling Girl

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A rolling girl is always in a dream
That she’ll never wake from
There’s so much noise inside of her little head
She scratches it all around
She scratches it all around

“Nothing’s wrong” the words come out so light
But quickly vanish into the air
It’s a mistake, what a mistake
It’s a matter of finding the odd one out in the end
It rolls again!

“One more time, one more time
Each day I will be rolling one more time”
So she says, so she says
As she makes a play on her spoken words
Are you ready yet?
Not so ready yet
The future is still so far away to me
So I’m holding my breath for
Now

A lonely girl is faraway in wasteland
In a grayscale world while you have color
Those overlapping voices in the air
They all sound the same
They all sound the same

“Nothing’s wrong” the words came out so light
But now there’s no trace of her saying it
She says that “I don’t give a damn what happens to me, so let’s be careless!”
She tempts me to push her down
“One more time, one more time
I beg you to roll me one more time”
So she says, so she says
As she makes a play on her unspoken words
Are you ready yet?
Just one moment
It nearly should be here to show me something
So I’m holding my breath for
Now

“One more time, one more time
Each day I will be rolling one more time”
So she says, so she says
As she adds laughter to her play on words
Are you ready yet?
I’m ready now
You must be so sick and tired of this
So I’ll stop my breathing
Now

Palette

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Barely above a whisper
I quietly laugh
My imagination’s stuck
With this opaque set of colors

“Please distinguish me”
Color me in
Please hurry before
The colors disappear

“I love you” slips in tasteful tones of teal
And forms tears
“thank you” resonates in a radiant of red
To form a lullaby

I will be eraser’s mind
I will be eraser’s mind

Unending ultramarine
Lingers in my head
Blending us into
A future where
I have defined color

“I love you” bestowed in black
For my memories

“Thank you” wafting through in pales of white
To form a gentle kiss

Clean Freak

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I don’t need these unclean, dirty feelings
What’s to miss, in these amiss, warped thoughts?
Don’t expect everyone to be happy at
The same time when there are grabby, dirty hands

“Everyone is different” they keep repeating
But our “values”, “pleasantries” are just replicas!
But when this becomes too heavy a burden
“We’re only human” is just the first excuse

Help me find a guideline that can properly
Explain where I stepped out of line
A textbook copy of the perfect life
But it’s not mine…

Everyone’s just looking for that comforting hand
Pretending because we never really understood
The line between “love” and “satisfaction”
No one even knows they made these mistakes

Whelp, there goes the human race
We can’t get out now, it’s much too late
We’ve fallen into habits of convenience
Finding the simplest wavelength

The over-used path of the heart is disgusting, dirt caked so thick
That dried it’s like a stone-path
So unless you’re clean
Don’t touch me!

Shakespearian stories take too long to tell
But when the lights dim the audience laughs
But when they’re on stage they want full attention
Or they’ll stop and call you out on the noise

“Your appearance is flawed” so says that small voice
Inside of your head like it’s your enemy
It’s quite dangerous to be left alone with
All of that garbled noises

From the very beginning we all were infected
With the greed of wanting more
Quick to toss out what we “adore”
Quick to say “You’re the only one for me”

In the end we’re used so we use
Such a selfish outlook for humanity
As we move along we bring with us a putrid sludge color

I’m too tired to care anymore
I wanna close my eyes to the contradictions
The mess giving me anxiety
So if you’re dirty
Stay away from me

Dreams are quick to be eaten by nightmares
The morning rays keep me going
Moving forward on my own
Please wait- “don’t over work yourself for me…”

People with voices like that don’t exist
Even if I cry, no one would care
This is becoming so repetitive
I’m too much of a Clean Freak to let the dust settle
I just can’t bear it

Whelp, there goes the human race
We can’t get out now, it’s much too late
Full of nothing but egotistical creatures
It makes it stifling to breathe

These irremovable stains
Even left impressions on me
I don’t know any more
I should just shut up
So this is goodbye

A Happy Death

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If I fall to hell, I will be saved
If I rise to heaven, we will meet again
Easily, easily
You strangle me and I love it

More, more strangle me a little more
Your voice comes out in gasps and I love it
And thereafter was said, “Goodbye, thank you”
I whispered in a weak voice as I died

If I fall to hell, I will be saved
If I rise to heaven, we will meet again
Please, I’m begging you, punish me
In hell

Someone as pure as you will go to heaven
If the other world is void, I will go there
I want to see you, Can I see you?
Even as I’m dying, I am happy

I can, I can die happy like this
You reply so earnestly and true and I love it
And thereafter was said, “Do you like it? Does it feel good?”
You whispered delightedly as you killed me

If I fall to hell, I will be saved
If I rise to heaven, we will meet again
Please, I’m begging you, punish me
In hell

Someone as pure as you will go to heaven
If my sins are forgiven, I will go as well
Come here, come here
You should also have a Happy Death

Hide and Seek of Isolation

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Cue the curtain’s rise
On the story about the boy who was
shortly to be a hysterically
Laughing clown in falling rain

Dirtied water underneath my feet
Showing my face that was defeated
With the boredom of everyday
That was exactly the same way

Devouring their passion
Relationship contradiction
Be it dream or reality
it’s still analogical thinking

Marking pages with the Bookmark of Despair
The doll is tearing it’s seems, coming to life for me

1 7 1 3

I brought this thing to life
This urban legend
The forbidden, rotting fruit
Biting the hands that feeds to stop it from
making me go insane, killing my brain

After the falling rain
Everything’s still the same
A shadow laughing so hard that it shakes
All I wanted was to not be bored while reading

Out of boredom I’m just killing time
Let’s start the game before I lose my mind
Peaceful is the same as boring
Every day that feeling is clinging

Demons can’t see me without eyes
Tasting iron that is freshly sliced
Red silk with a color so brilliant…
Is my last requirement

A ticket for the clown’s curtain rise
My face meeting in greeting with the clock’s hands

1 2 0 3

So close your eyes and count
To start hide and seek
“Making the first to be IT me”
Static from the TV, background crying
I see “It’s not a game, it’s the real thing!”

120 is nothing hard to beat
Laughing hysterically, as you say
“You’re up next to play the demon referred to as IT”

Suddenly I heard a disturbing speech
About those who were living, dead, or dying
“The innocent you will be dying today!”
Is that a fact? A premonition? But your face won’t tell me

Look now I’ve had enough
Look now I’ve seen too much
So let us skip to the final chapter

Ah the demon’s move
Ah the demon’s coming
Ah the demon is hunting, so
“Ready or not, here I come!”

I brought this thing to life
This urban legend
The once robust fruit is now rotting
Melting into the water
Like a kind of Witchcraft
I’m playing alone, so this isn’t right…
I can see the shadow nearby
With a grin, the demon quietly said,
“Caught you, so it’s my win~”

Ready, set, go!
Count for hide-and-seek
“But is the doll really the demon?”
The prologue, said ironically
“How do you commit the perfect crime?”
A summer idea
“Game for one with boredom”
The cat returns to the bookmark, so
“You’re up next to play the demon referred to as IT”